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16 August 2021 - I am Nobody
Drawing by me, Blue girl flower
' We are nothing more than a fraction of a ripple in an infinite sea of entropy '
When I think of the universe on a grand scale, I feel so tiny and insignificant. Even if I were to die today, nothing much in the world would change. The Earth would continue its orbit, the seasons would come and go, the rain would fall and the sun woud shine. Factories would continue polluting the Earth and churning out whatever they do, mental illnesses would continue to exist. My love ones would probably be sad, but life goes on.
Always be grateful, live life like a nobody, because I am a nobody. I can choose to do whatever I want to. Have fun and experience every moment.
I don't want to die and realise that I have been living someone else's life.
I find myself switching between states of gratefulness and feeling blessed to be able to witness nature and be in it, having an able body to do things and thinking that what's the point of anything if I am just a nobody waiting to die? Why do I have to experience, recognize and accept my sadness, my bad emotions, learn how to let go of them and continue living when I am just a nobody waiting to die? Why can't I just have it easy and go away right now?
It is perplexing how emotions and feelings can be so different from one moment to the next. What is the truth? Is there one?
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12 August 2021 - 'Forget what you think you know a few times a day.'
Playing with colour pencils.
Dear me,
Create without the fear of failure,
without waiting for a 'right' time,
without having the perfect inspiration,
without 'mastering' the perfect technique,
without having the best quality tools ,
without the thought of having an audience,
without the fear of being judged.
Be a child again.
Yours truly,
Me
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10 August 2021 - Flexibility and Flow
Sometime around the earlier months of 2020, I've been putting in time and consistency into yoga sessions at home as a means to stay healthy and mobile in these times where we are encouraged to stay home because of the pandemic. I am so glad that I did!
I discovered that Yoga encompasses so much, it is beyond movement and flexibility. To me, it is so much more about feeling, about connecting to myself, about breathing into the body.
I love the idea of flexibility being able to release emotions, remove blocks so that there is space in the body to live freely. Flexibility is always there, internal and external. I am just clouded by blocks and obstacles, shadows of my past, traumas and bad memories. With acceptance and letting go, I will gain flexibility and the ability to finally move freely. By no means I am practising with a means to an end. It will always be an ongoing journey, and I am fine with that.
Added a sections for my inspirations that I will fill up slowly. I really hope I can be consistent and grow this site for myself!
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9 August 2021 - Notes to self
I have been procrastinating having an online space of my own for so long, and the actions I do while procrastinating - things like mindlessly reading reddit, scrolling through social media, snacking endlessly are exactly the reasons why I want and should work on this digital space!
The aftermath of consumption leads to endless wanting and dissatisfaction, and I do not want that! I want to create and feel the timeless joy of creating, and also have something of my own to look back on. Creating also does not rely on external materials. It all comes from within, which is so magical.
I have been wanting to create for so long, and I used to create spontaneously all the time as a child. I want to retrieve that sparkle, intuition and passion back. This lovely article pulled the trigger for me to finally start up this page, abelt it only being an extremely lacking and imperfect kind of 'splash' page currently.
I will keep adding and building up from here, and uploading it to the WWW kind of makes it official, and will keep me accountable to keep it going in a way(I hope).
Yours truly,
Me
